I was part owner of a small health food store for a couple months last year. One day I was there working, when the most hip-looking pregnant mama came walking in with two little ones tugging at her arms for something to drink. The sight of her beautiful baby-swollen belly launched me into a million questions: When is the baby coming? Where are you giving birth? What kind of birth do you want? How are you feeling? She smiled, answering everything, then asked a couple questions of her own. She had heard of a doula and just happened to be looking for one! Looking back, I'm sure her random visit to my store wasn't actually random at all, but definitely meant to be. She ended up hiring me and we set up our first prenatal.
I parked on the street in
front of her house for the meeting and was welcomed into a beautiful historical home. The prenatal visit went well, and as I was leaving, I stopped to admire the art on the walls. Next to one of the framed DaVinci prints, I noticed a photo. Edie told me this was her brother who'd died a couple years earlier. In the prenatal she'd said she wanted to do this birth without medical interventions, because she longed to feel a closeness with her brother again and felt that the vulnerable and meditative state of labor and birth would enable her to do just that.
On the day of her birth, she called and said she was in labor but wasn't sure how far she was or how she was doing since she hadn't had an unmedicated birth before. I asked her to give me some details about how her body was feeling and how she was coping. She said she was feeling great. She was on the physical therapy ball (birth ball) and was using the yoga breathing she had been practicing throughout her pregnancy. I told her it sounded like she was in active labor and doing perfectly and that if she felt good, she could continue in this way.
A couple hours later, she called again, saying she still felt so good and was managing so well, she was sure labor couldn't have possibly progressed much farther. She was pleasantly surprised, but a little hesitant. I thought it might be a good time to go to the hospital so she could stop worrying about the trip and get settled.
I arrived in the parking lot just as Edie and her husband were getting out of the car. I noticed Edie was walking slowly and tentatively and assumed she must be having a contraction. I jumped out of the car and ran to catch up to her. I put my hand on her back and started stroking without saying anything. When the contraction was over, I greeted she and her husband and told her she was doing beautifully. We walked into t
he hospital and after some confusion, they put us into an observation room (To make sure she was really in labor. I always chuckle a little about this rule). We thought she was probably in good active labor, maybe at about 4 or 5 centimeters dilation. The nurse took her time. Edie was coping so well that the nurse wasn't too worried. When she finally finished with everything but the vaginal exam, she asked Edie to lay on the bed (she had been sitting next to the bed because that felt best). Edie lay down and the nurse proceeded to check her. The surprise gasp and worried look on the nurse's face made me smile discreetly. Edie was nine centimeters! They rushed her into a room and, despite the chaos, she continued laboring confidently and resolutely. I periodically touched her arm, her back, her hand, and talked in a low, soothing voice to remind her to drop her shoulders, relax her eyebrows and sink into the bed. Soon she was fully dilated and pushing. Since she had birthed three children before, she pushed this baby out like a wise woman will. The room was filled with Edie's very close family: her older son, her two younger children, her sweet husband, her mother, father and sister and even a nephew, all there to welcome the newest member of the family tree, Paolo.
I was only there for about two-hours and after Edie was settled in and breastfeeding that sweet little boy, I left just in time to attend my own father's birthday. As I drove I reflected on that beautiful experience. I felt I hadn't done much because I hadn't needed to do much. Edie was surrounded with an abundant family love, she had gained enough faith throughout this pregnancy to trust the intrinsic ability of her body to give birth, and she was surrounded with birth professionals who supported and encouraged her. But the most important thing besides having her little Paolo in her arms, she told me later, was that she had felt her brother near her during this uniquely spiritual life experience of intense challenge and immense joy.
